April is also Sjogren’s Awareness Month. https://sjogrens.org/understanding-sjogrens/glossary
Sjogren’s
Not a dry eye in seventy some years
I was always crying about something.
But now, no more tears. Eyes dry
like the rivers and lakes, dry like
a reservoir empty of dreams.
I was told my eyes were too dry
for cataract surgery. I would have
to medicate to cry. The cost was
too high for the prescription so
I continued to Refresh daily with
over the counter eye drops.
The next vision appointment
I think the ophthalmologist forgot
who I was, so many of us are old(er).
Appointments were made, surgery
was scheduled.
Soon I was anesthetized and the
cloudy cataract was removed; and,
again, three weeks later the right one
was gone too.
The fog is gone and my world is
clear and bright, but my eyes
remain dry as the red wine bottled
unopened on the counter.
Monocular lenses let me see stars
at night and road signs–where’s
the next McDonalds, the next
gas station.
But, I still need to Refresh several
times daily, and not just my eyes.
Autoimmune symptoms assure me
my body is a battle zone of pins
and needles and muscle cramps.
Each sharp pain, each weak leg,
the back.
Do I care what the diagnosis is,
what is or isn’t related to Sjogrens?
Labels are restrictive and can’t
define me. I am
alive, no matter what an x-ray
indicates, or whether or not
I can get out of bed today.
I live one symptom at a time.
Sherry Lee
April 6, 2023
