Personally, I think you’ve taken [the poem] from a “litany of complaints” to a “powerful declaration”.\u00a0 Simply deleting the baggage to keep the emotion and intention from being buried alive. \u00a0\u00a0You are the Goddess of poetry editing.<\/em><\/p>\nVictor Volkman, publisher, Loving Healing Press, Modern History Press l Ann Arbor, Michigan, http:\/\/modernhistorypress.com\/<\/p>\n
I spent most of my life feeling as though I was a writer and loving to write, but never allowing myself the joy or pleasure of exploring the possibility or potential of my ability. My first experience working with Sherry Quan Lee was through a writer’s workshop. Her passion, skill and encouragement brought me from my initial shy and awkward poems to completing a prose manuscript. As an unknown I wasn’t sure what to do, but her recommendations and the opportunities she affords her students as writers continue to serve me well. Her influence opened a whole new world for me and every day I am blessed with an ever expanding world of writing. I participated in her workshops, classes and hired Sherry as a writing mentor. I have not been disappointed. She is a valued member of the writing community and she is loved and respected for her own writing as well as her teaching. All I had to do was go back to some of my first poems and realize I have grown in all of my writing, reading and creative pursuits. A part of me is complete.<\/em><\/p>\nSandra J. Newbauer
\nMankato, Minnesota<\/p>\n
EXPERIENCE<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nCommunity Instructor: Metropolitan State University, St Catherine University, University of Minnesota, SASE:\u00a0 The Write Place, Intermedia Arts, The Loft Literary Center, True Colors Bookstore, etc.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nBook length manuscript critiques for poetry and nonfiction prose writers.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nMFA in Creative Writing, University of Minnesota<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nEXAMPLE OF CRITIQUE<\/strong> Here is a poem I recently posted on this Blog site.\u00a0 Although not recommended by some writers, I tend to send my poems into the world cold, rough, bursting at the seams.\u00a0 But, I\u2019ve also discovered, after many years of writing poems, that editing is not only necessary to make our poems better, which will engage a larger audience, but also editing, as Valerie Miner has written, is not punishment.\u00a0 Editing, I think, is fun.\u00a0 It\u2019s play.\u00a0 It\u2019s also very meaningful.\u00a0 Go into your closet of memory, and go into your closet of poems, literally, and shake them out, shake them up, make them better and share them. <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nPoem Critique <\/strong>(see blog entry for original poem):<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nIn re-visioning this poem, I began with the format.\u00a0 The format was giving me technical problems.\u00a0 Also, I didn\u2019t want the numbering and spacing to slow the poem down as much as it did.\u00a0 So, delete, delete.\u00a0 Then from beginning to end, I was committed to my gut feelings\/my personal reactions in conjunction with what I know about the craft of writing (though I don\u2019t always adhere to any specific rules). <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nI liked the epigraph, that\u2019s what triggered the poem, but I needed to acknowledge the author, even if I couldn\u2019t, from research, discover who the author is.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nWhat I like about this poem is how the childhood rhyme triggered the subject of hands and the theme of hope: memory of a child\u2019s hand, the mother\u2019s hand, and then the hands of a grandchild.\u00a0 I liked that the poet showed hands in various situations not just play, but also shooting guns (we see guns, but we aren\u2019t told what to think about them), but then also we see hands, hands of hope\u2014action beyond the prayer, showing the grandson \u201cwhere the people are.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n(Okay, the poet did make some strong insinuations about God, but in the editing, I deleted at least one of those \u201ctelling\u201d moments.\u00a0 I deleted \u201cthere is only one god\u201d because readers may misread, read what they want and think the author has written \u201cthere is only one religion.\u201d\u00a0 Best for this poem not to make such a dramatic statement which the poet definitely doesn\u2019t believe to be true.<\/strong><\/p>\nI also made other deletions such as \u201c<\/strong>Rivers of clay. Sand in the shoes in the socks.\u201d It didn\u2019t add meaning to the poem, it made for fun alliteration, but it sounded predictable.\u00a0 And I deleted in part \u201cfor the blue for the moon for the body for the man for the woman for the child\u201d by taking out some of the unnecessary words; the line was stronger and more meaningful with focus on blue and on body.\u00a0 I also deleted mothers and fathers in the line: \u201cCan\u2019t wash away history embedded in the hands of children or mothers or fathers.\u201d This way the poem focuses on the child\u2014the child of the past and the child of the future.<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nAs a poet in editing mode, I always enjoy playing with words.\u00a0 Words can change meaning, change sound, change rhythm, change tone.\u00a0 For instance, I deleted \u201cstretching\u201d pennies and added \u201csaving\u201d pennies.\u00a0 Literally, pennies are too small to stretch very far, maybe one can stretch dollars, but saving pennies doesn\u2019t have to mean saving in a bank, but the amount of money saved because one is thrifty.\u00a0 In other words, this mother, couldn\u2019t save very much, there wasn\u2019t much to be saved.\u00a0 Sometimes I use words wrong.\u00a0 Not on purpose, but it\u2019s my way of not being afraid to learn and use new words.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nI think the ending of the poem is what it was to be\u2014coming full circle, from the innocence of building castles in the sand to knowing that building castles in the sand is necessary. The ending passes hope and action unto the child.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nA simple, clear poem with a universal message. <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nThank you. <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nOne last note, I am wavering about the format.\u00a0 I liked the numbers.\u00a0 Experiment.\u00a0 See what works for you, what you think works for the poem.\u00a0 Line breaks too, are like a jig saw puzzle piece, where to end, where to begin a line?\u00a0 Emphasize the most important words, that\u2019s the rule.\u00a0 But what matters is what works for this poem, your poem?<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nSincerely,<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nSherry<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nRevised Poem:<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nINSIDE HANDS, MEMORY<\/h2>\n
Here is the church, here is the steeple, open\u00a0the door\u00a0and see all the people\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2014<\/em>childhood poem, unknown author<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em><\/p>\nHands that play.\u00a0 Hands that pray.\u00a0 Hands in the sand<\/p>\n
building castles.\u00a0 Restless hands.<\/p>\n
Mother\u2019s hands.\u00a0 Sewing.\u00a0 Stirring the pot.\u00a0 Saving<\/p>\n
pennies.\u00a0 Counting the children, 1-2-3-4-5.<\/p>\n
Hands too tired to pray, the day the baby died.<\/p>\n
Hands that touch to be touched.\u00a0 Fingers that flee.<\/p>\n
Forgiveness.\u00a0 Hands that write.\u00a0 Hands that reach<\/p>\n
for the sky for the blue, for the body.<\/p>\n
Hands that ache.\u00a0 That can\u2019t make the next generation of hands<\/p>\n
not hurt. Can\u2019t wash away history<\/p>\n
embedded in the hands of children.<\/p>\n
Hands that shoot guns, detonate bombs, cinch ropes,<\/p>\n
bury the dead in the name of God, fighting for God against God.<\/p>\n
Hands lost in the name of God.\u00a0 For God\u2019s sake, we must<\/p>\n
take back the hands.<\/p>\n
The veins in my hands are rivers of mud.\u00a0 Stories flowing<\/p>\n
around the castle of hope.\u00a0 Wrinkles of time gather abundantly<\/p>\n
covering the innocence of here is the church<\/em>.\u00a0 Yet, I take<\/p>\nmy grandchild\u2019s hand into my own, show him the door<\/p>\n
and where the people are hidden.<\/p>\n
Sherry Quan Lee<\/p>\n
December 26, 2010<\/p>\n
Sherry Quan Lee approaches writing as a community resource and as culturally based art of an ordinary everyday practical aesthetic. Her journey as a writer began before she was born; history plays an important part in who we are (her mother is “Negro” and her father is Chinese). Lines on her curriculum vitae show “opportunities and blessings” that focus and center her life as a writer. Between the lines are the stories she writes that are the process, the plot that literally move her forward. She is the artist and the art: textured, vibrant\u2014visible.\u00a0 SherryQuanLee.com<\/p>\n
<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I\u2019m offering one free poem critique per week.\u00a0 If selected, your work and accompanying critique will be published on my blog site at no cost to you! February\u2019s Theme-of-the-Month: poems will be selected by my very subjective belief that it is about love.\u00a0 Not the sentimental kind of love, the …<\/p>\n
Continue reading<\/span><\/i><\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-art-of-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=267"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":301,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions\/301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sherryquanlee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}